About Counselling

People enter into counselling for many and varied reasons. For some, the reason appears quite clear, for others it is not so. In some cases, cause and effect has been recurring uncorrected for so many years that the individual may pass a cursory glance over the following list of symptoms and say, "I think that nearly all of those apply to me." I have found that the problems which people present to me in the therapy room fall predominantly into one or more of the following categories:
 
- Things that seem out of our awareness or only partially known

Sometimes, for reasons that might not seem apparent, we experience chaotic and confusing thoughts and feelings that can, literally, overwhelm us. Even being aware that a number of things in life are not going well, often does not provide a sufficiently adequate explanation or understanding of why we feel as we do. Common symptoms may include;

ANXIETY, MORBID FEARS, FEAR OF SEPARATION OR LOSS, DEPRESSION, RELATIONSHIP DEPENDENCY, POOR INTIMATE & SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS, SENSE OF LOW ACHIEVEMENT, EXCESSIVE INTAKE OF FOOD OR ALCOHOL

Professional counselling offers the opportunity to explore the root cause of our pain and thus begin to change such uncomfortable states of being.
 
- Past influences (often tied in with root causes)

The human psyche has a remarkable ability to remain stuck in the past, which can create an illusion of restricted choices and limit a person's desire and courage to change. The purpose of counselling in this context is to help a person live more freely in their present lives. However, we are all, in the present, the sum total of our past conscious and unconscious experiences. A consideration of the past and its consequences is, therefore, integral to the counselling process insofar as it encourages a person to become liberated from, rather than codemned to, it.
 
- Relationships with others

For most of us, forming satisfying relationships with others and communicating easefully forms the comfort zone within which we experience our sense of well-being. Disharmony or breakdown in relationship, whether intimate, social or in the workplace, is often therefore the final straw which pushes people over the threshold and causes them to seek help. Frequently, by the time a relationship breaks down, we are no longer in a position to recognise the difference between the other person's emotions and behaviours and our own. The counselling process helps individuals to first of all re-connect with their own sense of personal identity. As Vita Sackville-West and many others have stated, in order to enjoy satisfying relationships with others, we need generally to be in a satisfactory relationship with ourselves. Those conflicts which reside within us are often painful and destructive to ourselves and others. It is these inner conflicts which counselling aims to help resolve in order that we can begin to rebuild healthy relationships. Once at peace with ourselves, it also becomes clearer as to which part of the relational problem lies with ourselves and which part needs to be passed back to the other person.